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Transcript:Wanted Dead and Alive
This is the transcript for "Wanted Dead and Alive". Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode. [Scene: The Stuffedgomery Police Department. The members of the BFC are bringing in Evan, who they have handcuffed] Milo Watson: Cuz, I'm starting to wonder if this is a good idea. Bedtime Bear: Nonsense, Milo. Those low-ranking officers told us that we'll be enemies after the public execution, not before. Milo: ...and I trust them. It's those higher up jerks I don't trust! Black-eyed Jake: Don't worry, if they betray us, we'll just kill them. Goon: It's as simple as that. Tito Bear: I don't see any problem in a little payback... especially if they do it to us first. [The members of the BFC stop walking when they see Sheriff Squirrel, Deputy Dog and the Beanies standing in front of them] Bedtime Bear: The prisoner, officer. Sheriff Squirrel: I would prefer to be addressed by my name, Sheriff Squirrel. Bedtime Bear: Right, officer, may we get on with this execution then? Sheriff Squirrel: By all means, I would be delighted to execute this figure here and now. Bedtime Bear: That's what I like to hear. [Scene: The outside of the Stuffedgomery Police Department. The members of the BFC and the members of the SPD arrive with the handcuffed Evan] Deputy Dog: Ahem! Citizens of Stuffedgomery, you are about to see a figure get publically executed. He illegally snuck into our very home, and we will not allow someone of his race to stay here. We are proud stuffed animals and because of that, we will carry out justice! [Camera zooms in on the citizens of Stuffedgomery] [Camera zooms in on a bear. A title card appears under him saying Ronnie Teddy] Ronnie Teddy: Yeah, kill the guy! It's the right thing to do after what those figures did to us! [Camera zooms in on another bear. A title card appears under him saying Donnie Teddy] Donnie Teddy: I suppose you have a point, dear brother. Figures have treated us like trash for years, now it's time to take our vengeance! [Camera zooms in on a penguin. A title card appears under him saying Mayor Waddle Isleton] Waddle Isleton: It's only fair to us. As Mayor of Stuffedgomery, I will allow this public execution! [Camera zooms in on a cardinal and a hummingbird. Title cards appear under them saying Mac Donaldson and Nectar Hummingbird] Nectar Hummingbird: The mayor's got to do what the mayor's got to do. Either you follow those orders or don't consider yourself a citizen of Stuffedgomery! Mac Donaldson: You have a point, Nectar. We must uphold whatever the mayor says at all costs! [Camera zooms in on two lovebirds. Title cards appear under them saying Lachlan Feathers and Assistant Mayor Barbara Feathers] Lachlan Feathers: Couldn't have put it a better way myself. Isn't that right, darling? Barbara Feathers: Oh, Lachlan! You know just what to say! [Lachlan and Barbara kiss] All of the citizens of Stuffedgomery: Kill the figure! Kill the figure! Kill the figure! Kill the figure! Sheriff Squirrel: ...and that we shall, random citizens! But first, before we begin this public execution, there is one thing we must get done! Beanies! Beanies: Yes, boss? Sheriff Squirrel: Arrest the BFC! [The Beanies put handcuffs on all of the members of the BFC] Bedtime Bear: Hey, you can't put us in jail! Granted, I've broken out of millions of prisons before, but this just isn't right! We had a deal and you broke our promise, officer! Sheriff Squirrel: First of all, the Beanies gave you the news, not me. Second of all, we carried out our little deal: you brought this figure to us. We didn't say what would happen after you handed him over! Bedtime Bear: Why you little—! By the time this is over, I'm going to kick your butt! Sheriff Squirrel: Keep dreaming, little teddy! [The Beanies bring the members of the BFC inside the Stuffedgomery Police Department, throwing them in a prison cell once they arrive in] Bedtime Bear: You won't get away with this! I'm going to kill your boss once me and my family finds a way out of here! Beanies: Oh, we're bear-y sorry, but those were boss' orders. We don't want to get fired now, do we? [The Beanies leave the BFC's cell and close the door behind them] Bedtime Bear: Curse you, SPD! [Scene: The outside of the Stuffedgomery Police Department. The members of the SPD are beginning Evan's public execution] [Camera zooms in on a bee. A title card appears under him saying Silly Bee] Silly Bee: Ha ha! Serves those bad bears right! I'd say that the SPD just killed two birds with one stone... get rid of the criminals and then get rid of the figure! Smart plan! [Camera zooms in on two different-looking stuffed animals. Title cards appear under them saying Smile Buddy and Mr. Sprinklehead] Smile Buddy: Indeed. Sheriff Squirrel is a true genius! Mr. Sprinklehead: Agreed, Smile Buddy. That's a grade A cop right there! Sheriff Squirrel: Now we may commence the execution of this figure: Evan Kelly. [Sheriff Squirrel holds a sword above his head] Sheriff Squirrel: Before you die, do you have any last words, kid? Evan Kelly: Of course I do, sheriff. Ahem! The Yellowbeard Pirates are coming, and with them will come a new era, an era where war between figures and stuffed animals will continue. Yellowbeard will destroy the entire race one-by-one and the figures' revenge on stuffed animals will be served at long last! Deputy Dog: You speak lies, child. Stuffedgomery has been peaceful for the past few years, it will remain that way! [Sheriff Squirrel holds the sword above Evan's head, preparing to behead him. As he attempts to, Evan begins speaking again] Evan: Also, one more thing. Sheriff Squirrel: Huh? Evan: Those BFC losers should have known much better than to forget about Weigh and Anchor. Now, men! [On Evan's order, Weigh and Anchor arrive, kicking open the doors with ease] Sheriff Squirrel: Please, those are just two pirates. The Beanies can easily hold them off! Evan: Not just two of them, sheriff! [Suddenly, an army knocks down the doors of the Stuffedgomery Police Department] [Camera zooms in on multiple figures. Title cards appear under them saying the Figure District Mercenaries] Weigh: Behold your army, Evan. The Figure District Mercenaries! Anchor: Just as you asked for. Evan: Alright guys, time to kick some policeman butt! [Upon seeing the Figure District Mercenaries, the citizens of Stuffedgomery are in shock] Silly Bee: Onward, Smile Buddy and Mr. Sprinklehead! Let's get out of this place! Smile Buddy and Mr. Sprinklehead: ♪ At your service, Silly Bee! ♪ [The residents of the Beehive run away] Ronnie: Like, I have so many stuffed animals to swindle. I don't want to die here! Donnie: The best choice right now is to leave, dear brother. [The residents of the L.O.D.G.E. and the Harvester Farm run away] Mac: Mr. Mayor, sir, we need to leave quickly! Waddle: But I need to protect Stuffedgomery! Nectar: We understand your need to help, Mr. Mayor, sir, but this is too dangerous for you. Lachlan: Nectar's right. Your safety is all that matters to us! Waddle: Fine. Let's go! [The residents of the Town Hall run away] Sheriff Squirrel: Guys, it's no big deal. Nothing the Beanies can't handle. Beanies, get those mercenaries! Beanies: Right away, boss! [The Beanies rush towards Weigh, Anchor and the Figure District Mercenaries, only for the latters to throw a golden grenade at them, pushing back the Beanies] Deputy Dog: Sir, the Beanies are down! Sheriff Squirrel: Ugh! How could those idiots fail... again? Whatever. Deputy Dog, finish them off! Deputy Dog: Okay, sir. [As Deputy Dog rushes towards the Figure District Mercenaries, he runs into a young, blonde-haired woman and stops in his tracks] Deputy Dog: *blushing* My goodness! Who are you, ma'am? [Camera zooms in on the young, blonde-haired woman. A title card appears under her saying Renata Ratcliffe] Renata Ratcliffe: The name's Renata Ratcliffe, sir. Frankly, I don't want any part in this, but those mean mercenaries forced me to come along with them. Can you escort me back to the Figure District, please? Deputy Dog: Anything for a pretty lady! Renata: Well, that's very nice of you. [As they are walking, Renata trips over] Renata: Ouch! Deputy Dog: Sorry, ma'am. Are you o—? [Camera zooms in on Renata's butt, where she is wearing white panties] Deputy Dog: Might I help you up, ma'am? Renata: Of course. You're such a gentleman. [As Deputy Dog lifts up Renata, she counters and locks him in a submission hold] Deputy Dog: What the—? Renata: Or at least you seem like it, you're nothing more than a pervert! How dare you take a peek at my panties?! [Renata sprays pepper spray in Deputy Dog's eyes] [Renata gets up] Renata: *pulling down her skirt to cover her panties* Alright Evan, the work is done! Evan: That's excellent, Renata! I just got to deal with this crook over here and we'll be on our way back to the boss! Sheriff Squirrel: Crook?! [Sheriff Squirrel goes to behead Evan, but Evan ducks under his sword and stabs Sheriff Squirrel with a spear, killing him] Evan: Ha ha! That was awesome, guys! [Evan, Weigh, Anchor, Renata and the Figure District Mercenaries leave the Stuffedgomery Police Department] [Scene: The outside of the Stuffedgomery Police Department. It is nighttime] Deputy Dog: *yawns* Why that Renata, how dare you trick me! I'll pay you back for that! Huh? [Deputy Dog sees that the Figure District Mercenaries have left, as well as Evan, Weigh, Anchor and Renata] Deputy Dog: They're gone?! I have to alert the Beanies about this! Beanies, wake up! Beanies: Yes, Deputy Dog. Deputy Dog: Those mercenaries have escaped. In addition to that, so has the prisoner Evan, two pirates named Weigh and Anchor and a hot whore named Renata! Beanies: That's not good! We must tell Sheriff Squirrel about this! Deputy Dog: Good idea. Sheriff Squirrel! [Deputy Dog and the Beanies walk towards where Sheriff Squirrel was, only to find his carcass lying on the grounds of the Stuffedgomery Police Department] Beanies: Oh dear, Sheriff Squirrel is dead! Deputy Dog: *growls* I'll kill those jerks for this! I will avenge Sheriff Squirrel! Beanies: But there's one problem, Deputy Dog. We were unable to stop these guys the first time, so we know that there's no way to beat them all by ourselves. Deputy Dog: Exactly, that's why I know just who to team up with! Beanies: You don't mean—? Deputy Dog: At times like this, we must come together. It is what Sheriff Squirrel would have wanted! [Deputy Dog and the Beanies walk inside the Stuffedgomery Police Department] [Scene: The Figure District. Evan, Weigh, Anchor, Renata and the Figure District Mercenaries are meeting up with their boss] Evan: It took us a while, but we managed to make it back. We brought down a whole force of policemen single handedly, but those guys from the BFC refused our offer to join the Yellowbeard Pirates. What do we do about them, boss? Yellowbeard: *silhouetted* Bring them to me. [Episode ends] Category:Season 1 transcripts Category:Transcripts